Since I wrote last night that I would share some memories about Greg today and throughout the week I've been thinking about some of the best and worst times with Greg and those 7 years of my life in general. I could tell you about when he taught me to drive and I nearly killed all 4 of us in the car, or when we went to washington dc for our first family vacation and I learned more about him because of the tears that he cried at the Vietnam Memorial. Or maybe how he always managed to embarass the hell out of me when I was in high school because he would get up at 11 every night to come out and smoke and never ever had on more than a tshirt and underwear. It was his house afterall, he could do whatever he wanted he said. So trying to make sure friends were either gone or in the basement by or before 11 caused some stressful moments. Anyway, all I can think about is the day I went to college so that is what I want to share with you all.
Picking a school to go to was a tough decision for me, it seemed like everyone from Rochester was going to either Purdue, IU or Ball State and I had no interest in any of them. I visited Purdue and knew that I would just get lost in the shuffle. The only other places I applied were Florida Southern in Lakeland, FL and Hanover in lovely little Hanover, IN. I also figured out pretty quickly that I couldn't move to Florida either and be so far from my home and my family. It was still a tough decision because moving to Lakeland would have meant getting to spend more time with my dad and Nancy. But Rochester is what I knew and where my heart was and so I opted for Hanover. Mom and Greg and I had gone for an overnight visit the summer right before my first semester and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to stay so I was sure that moving in as a freshman would be a snap! Nothing to it. I had already met Brent and Michelle during the time we stayed earlier in the summer and I didn't know it at the time but they both would become two of my closest friends during our years at Hanover. Meeting them also led to meeting several others that are still very important people in my life! We formed a pretty tight group over the years and no matter how hard the 4 years were it was always a good time when we were together. What's the saying, work hard and play harder? I think that could have been our mantra :). Anyway, back to the point. The week leading up to my going to hanover for good things were kinda weird around the house. There was a lot going on, I was stressing about starting this new life at college and making sure I had everything and getting to see everyone that I cared to see from Rochester. You know how it goes. I didn't notice for awhile but Greg basically stopped talking to me and it really started to bug me. So by the day that we went down to Hanover, I was all out pissed. Greg and I had come so far since he and my mom first started dating, well really I was the one that had come far. When they first started dating I didn't want anything to do with him - he was not my dad and no one was going to take that place. It took me several years to realize that I can share that place in my life and my heart without feeling like I was betraying my own dad. So I said something to my mom once we were at Hanover about why he wasn't talking to me and wanted to know if he was mad at someone. And she just said 'Oh Kira, he's upset that you're going to be leaving us.' Well I hadn't really thought about that and then I felt really bad for being mad at him, it was just his way of dealing with me going to college. Greg and I had gotten a lot closer especially my senior year and I felt like my family was finally complete. I had 2 moms and 2 dads by that point and together they all made me feel like my family was perfect. Of course, I still missed my dad and there were times I didn't want anything to do with any of the 4 of them but hey I was in high school, give me a break. So we had putzed around all day at Hanover taking our time unpacking and exploring and when it was time to go I knew that I wasn't going to cry. I had finally found my freedom, because let's be honest, I didn't exactly take many chances in high school. My brother had driven down seperately so he left - which was definitely not a big deal but then it was time for them to go too... Mom and I said our good-byes and she turned to leave and then Greg came to give me a hug and he started crying and just hugged me and told me how much he loved me and how he would miss my laugh and my constant talking. He always called me Gabby sometimes I wondered if he even remembered my name was Kira... haha. There was never another moment in all 7 years that I knew Greg that meant as much to me as that moment did. I felt like he really loved me and accepted me as one of his own - and that meant the world to me. Of course, I didn't know at the time that in only a year and half he would be gone and now where I sit he has been gone for 7 years - just as many years as he was a part of my life. What I cling to though is memories like this one and knowing that the last time I talked to him I got to tell him that I loved him. I can only hope that someday I will get to see him again because Lord Almighty do I have A LOT to tell him! :)
Miss you Greg.
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