I woke up today thinking it was going to be a fabulous day and why wouldn't it? Yesterday was horrid, I could have killed a good 50% of the people that I work with and not had any remorse, at least for awhile anyway. :) So today I got up and got ready in my usual slow fashion, had to take the dogs for a nice long walk and figure out what to wear to look nice since I had 2 important meetings today. Not to mention figure out what eye shadow to wear since I got 9 new colors at sephora yesterday. That is important stuff, ya know. So I'm at work and my stomach is feeling kinda funny (I feel I should mention at this point that if you have a weak stomach do not continue reading) but I think nothing of it because I started back on a med that I had been off of during the surgery process. I just figured it was adding that one back into the mix that caused me to feel a little funny in the tummy. However, within 20 minutes I sure was in the bathroom emptying my stomach, at work even. I have never ever in my 26 years (so close to 27) gotten sick at work, it was horrifying. So I went to tell my boss that I had just tossed my cookies because I had been talking to her when I had to dart to the little girls room. I really thought I was better though but in short order knew that I was going to do it again and it was time to go home... So off I go driving as fast as barbie would drive me (it's a malibu - malibu barbie, get it) and about the time I get on 69 I knew that I was going to be cutting it really really close... As I'm pulling off on the 116th Street exit I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to make it home. But what do you do? I've never been much of a puker - this it's coming right now stuff is new to me, and I gotta tell ya, I'm not a fan. I didn't know what to do. I kept looking at the side of the road and wondering if I could just pull over on the ramp and get out to get sick right there for God and all of Fishers to see? I apparently thought too much about it because next thing I know I'm getting sick IN MY CAR on the floor of the passenger side... Not only am I getting sick but the next thing I know there was a very sudden JOLT and sure enough I had forgot to brake while I was vomitting and ran into the car in front of me. Go figure that puking while driving doesn't work out very well. Thank heavens that there was no damage to either car - or so the guy said - I didn't get out to look. I wasn't really sure what to do at that point, the thought crossed my mind to get out and look but I was a little bit mortified that I had just thrown up in my car while driving. I was also pretty sure there was a good chance there were remnants on my chin since I still don't have total feeling back and don't really know when things decide to drip and hang out on my face... When I got home Kyle was ready to take me to the ER but has handled the onslaught of vomit through out the day very well. He even called in sick to stay home and make sure that I was going to be ok. Such a sweet hubby I have. I called the doctors office to ask if I should be concerned, and the nurse, Melissa, let me know that Dr. Albright had the same symptoms the day before (Wed) and since I had been there on Tuesday I might have picked up the little bug there. What a scary thought it is that when you go to the doctor just for a routine check up and aren't even sick you come out sick! Another scary thought, while I was laying in bed all day I looked up some info on the internet about dehydration to help make sure I didn't get that way. When I went to Ask.com and asked Jeeves about it one of the first topics that came up on the side menu that says "related search topics" was "HOW TO BE BULIMIC" and the next was "HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF VOMIT". My question about throwing up and dehydration led to how to become bulimic? Seriously.... I was disgusted.
Actually this whole day has been disgusting and I hope that you are now just as disgusted as I have been after reading about my day! :)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Is it summer yet?
So I took the dogs out for a walk a few days ago and we decided to go a different way so I wasn't walking into the coldest wind ever the entire time. For whatever reason Winston was all about peeing on every light-pole that we passed which I found comical... On about the 5th pole he lifted his leg to pee and started pooping instead, much to both his and my surprise... It was all I could do to pull him away so he didn't actually poop on the pole, talk about nuts. Winston and Nallah are obsessed with the snow so we've been having quite a bit of fun at the park. They used to go nuts like this when we had our own house and backyard (sigh) and it's fun to watch them play in it again!
Let's see what else can I share. I start physical therapy on Wednesday, I 'm still pretty nervous about this and unsure of how our insurance is going to handle it, but we'll manage! I worked out for the first time yesterday since the surgery. I was feeling awesome until I was done... I opted for one of my biggest loser dvds rather than the exercise bike thinking I was ready for it, not so much. Within twenty minutes my whole head was throbbing and I was pretty sure that my jaw was coming unhinged. Yipes. I didn't give up on it altogether though, and rode the stationary bike this morning, which felt really good too! It has been really hard getting back into the swing of eating right and exercising since the surgery. I see my nutritionist tomorrow and I know she's not going to be very happy with me, hopefully she can help me find my motivation again. I lost 60 lbs in 2008 and would really like to lose the last 47 lbs by the end of September - that's 5 lbs a month, which is definitely attainable!! That will be about the time I get my braces off and I know I can do it!
Had dinner last night with Gess and Rick as well as my mom and Greg. They announced that they are getting married in a month!! Less than a month now, February 16th in Hawaii!! They are so excited and I am so happy for them both - still a big change and it's a lot to deal with - but as long as my mom is happy then I can't really ask for more. Speaking of a lot to deal with - I have a HUGE secret that I'm not allowed to share yet... I'm dying to be able to tell, but can't until I get the ok from the secret-holders... :) On that note I'm going to go find something productive to do so Winston stops gator-chomping me!
Sweet Dreams
Let's see what else can I share. I start physical therapy on Wednesday, I 'm still pretty nervous about this and unsure of how our insurance is going to handle it, but we'll manage! I worked out for the first time yesterday since the surgery. I was feeling awesome until I was done... I opted for one of my biggest loser dvds rather than the exercise bike thinking I was ready for it, not so much. Within twenty minutes my whole head was throbbing and I was pretty sure that my jaw was coming unhinged. Yipes. I didn't give up on it altogether though, and rode the stationary bike this morning, which felt really good too! It has been really hard getting back into the swing of eating right and exercising since the surgery. I see my nutritionist tomorrow and I know she's not going to be very happy with me, hopefully she can help me find my motivation again. I lost 60 lbs in 2008 and would really like to lose the last 47 lbs by the end of September - that's 5 lbs a month, which is definitely attainable!! That will be about the time I get my braces off and I know I can do it!
Had dinner last night with Gess and Rick as well as my mom and Greg. They announced that they are getting married in a month!! Less than a month now, February 16th in Hawaii!! They are so excited and I am so happy for them both - still a big change and it's a lot to deal with - but as long as my mom is happy then I can't really ask for more. Speaking of a lot to deal with - I have a HUGE secret that I'm not allowed to share yet... I'm dying to be able to tell, but can't until I get the ok from the secret-holders... :) On that note I'm going to go find something productive to do so Winston stops gator-chomping me!
Sweet Dreams
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Off to College
Since I wrote last night that I would share some memories about Greg today and throughout the week I've been thinking about some of the best and worst times with Greg and those 7 years of my life in general. I could tell you about when he taught me to drive and I nearly killed all 4 of us in the car, or when we went to washington dc for our first family vacation and I learned more about him because of the tears that he cried at the Vietnam Memorial. Or maybe how he always managed to embarass the hell out of me when I was in high school because he would get up at 11 every night to come out and smoke and never ever had on more than a tshirt and underwear. It was his house afterall, he could do whatever he wanted he said. So trying to make sure friends were either gone or in the basement by or before 11 caused some stressful moments. Anyway, all I can think about is the day I went to college so that is what I want to share with you all.
Picking a school to go to was a tough decision for me, it seemed like everyone from Rochester was going to either Purdue, IU or Ball State and I had no interest in any of them. I visited Purdue and knew that I would just get lost in the shuffle. The only other places I applied were Florida Southern in Lakeland, FL and Hanover in lovely little Hanover, IN. I also figured out pretty quickly that I couldn't move to Florida either and be so far from my home and my family. It was still a tough decision because moving to Lakeland would have meant getting to spend more time with my dad and Nancy. But Rochester is what I knew and where my heart was and so I opted for Hanover. Mom and Greg and I had gone for an overnight visit the summer right before my first semester and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to stay so I was sure that moving in as a freshman would be a snap! Nothing to it. I had already met Brent and Michelle during the time we stayed earlier in the summer and I didn't know it at the time but they both would become two of my closest friends during our years at Hanover. Meeting them also led to meeting several others that are still very important people in my life! We formed a pretty tight group over the years and no matter how hard the 4 years were it was always a good time when we were together. What's the saying, work hard and play harder? I think that could have been our mantra :). Anyway, back to the point. The week leading up to my going to hanover for good things were kinda weird around the house. There was a lot going on, I was stressing about starting this new life at college and making sure I had everything and getting to see everyone that I cared to see from Rochester. You know how it goes. I didn't notice for awhile but Greg basically stopped talking to me and it really started to bug me. So by the day that we went down to Hanover, I was all out pissed. Greg and I had come so far since he and my mom first started dating, well really I was the one that had come far. When they first started dating I didn't want anything to do with him - he was not my dad and no one was going to take that place. It took me several years to realize that I can share that place in my life and my heart without feeling like I was betraying my own dad. So I said something to my mom once we were at Hanover about why he wasn't talking to me and wanted to know if he was mad at someone. And she just said 'Oh Kira, he's upset that you're going to be leaving us.' Well I hadn't really thought about that and then I felt really bad for being mad at him, it was just his way of dealing with me going to college. Greg and I had gotten a lot closer especially my senior year and I felt like my family was finally complete. I had 2 moms and 2 dads by that point and together they all made me feel like my family was perfect. Of course, I still missed my dad and there were times I didn't want anything to do with any of the 4 of them but hey I was in high school, give me a break. So we had putzed around all day at Hanover taking our time unpacking and exploring and when it was time to go I knew that I wasn't going to cry. I had finally found my freedom, because let's be honest, I didn't exactly take many chances in high school. My brother had driven down seperately so he left - which was definitely not a big deal but then it was time for them to go too... Mom and I said our good-byes and she turned to leave and then Greg came to give me a hug and he started crying and just hugged me and told me how much he loved me and how he would miss my laugh and my constant talking. He always called me Gabby sometimes I wondered if he even remembered my name was Kira... haha. There was never another moment in all 7 years that I knew Greg that meant as much to me as that moment did. I felt like he really loved me and accepted me as one of his own - and that meant the world to me. Of course, I didn't know at the time that in only a year and half he would be gone and now where I sit he has been gone for 7 years - just as many years as he was a part of my life. What I cling to though is memories like this one and knowing that the last time I talked to him I got to tell him that I loved him. I can only hope that someday I will get to see him again because Lord Almighty do I have A LOT to tell him! :)
Miss you Greg.
Picking a school to go to was a tough decision for me, it seemed like everyone from Rochester was going to either Purdue, IU or Ball State and I had no interest in any of them. I visited Purdue and knew that I would just get lost in the shuffle. The only other places I applied were Florida Southern in Lakeland, FL and Hanover in lovely little Hanover, IN. I also figured out pretty quickly that I couldn't move to Florida either and be so far from my home and my family. It was still a tough decision because moving to Lakeland would have meant getting to spend more time with my dad and Nancy. But Rochester is what I knew and where my heart was and so I opted for Hanover. Mom and Greg and I had gone for an overnight visit the summer right before my first semester and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to stay so I was sure that moving in as a freshman would be a snap! Nothing to it. I had already met Brent and Michelle during the time we stayed earlier in the summer and I didn't know it at the time but they both would become two of my closest friends during our years at Hanover. Meeting them also led to meeting several others that are still very important people in my life! We formed a pretty tight group over the years and no matter how hard the 4 years were it was always a good time when we were together. What's the saying, work hard and play harder? I think that could have been our mantra :). Anyway, back to the point. The week leading up to my going to hanover for good things were kinda weird around the house. There was a lot going on, I was stressing about starting this new life at college and making sure I had everything and getting to see everyone that I cared to see from Rochester. You know how it goes. I didn't notice for awhile but Greg basically stopped talking to me and it really started to bug me. So by the day that we went down to Hanover, I was all out pissed. Greg and I had come so far since he and my mom first started dating, well really I was the one that had come far. When they first started dating I didn't want anything to do with him - he was not my dad and no one was going to take that place. It took me several years to realize that I can share that place in my life and my heart without feeling like I was betraying my own dad. So I said something to my mom once we were at Hanover about why he wasn't talking to me and wanted to know if he was mad at someone. And she just said 'Oh Kira, he's upset that you're going to be leaving us.' Well I hadn't really thought about that and then I felt really bad for being mad at him, it was just his way of dealing with me going to college. Greg and I had gotten a lot closer especially my senior year and I felt like my family was finally complete. I had 2 moms and 2 dads by that point and together they all made me feel like my family was perfect. Of course, I still missed my dad and there were times I didn't want anything to do with any of the 4 of them but hey I was in high school, give me a break. So we had putzed around all day at Hanover taking our time unpacking and exploring and when it was time to go I knew that I wasn't going to cry. I had finally found my freedom, because let's be honest, I didn't exactly take many chances in high school. My brother had driven down seperately so he left - which was definitely not a big deal but then it was time for them to go too... Mom and I said our good-byes and she turned to leave and then Greg came to give me a hug and he started crying and just hugged me and told me how much he loved me and how he would miss my laugh and my constant talking. He always called me Gabby sometimes I wondered if he even remembered my name was Kira... haha. There was never another moment in all 7 years that I knew Greg that meant as much to me as that moment did. I felt like he really loved me and accepted me as one of his own - and that meant the world to me. Of course, I didn't know at the time that in only a year and half he would be gone and now where I sit he has been gone for 7 years - just as many years as he was a part of my life. What I cling to though is memories like this one and knowing that the last time I talked to him I got to tell him that I loved him. I can only hope that someday I will get to see him again because Lord Almighty do I have A LOT to tell him! :)
Miss you Greg.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Pity Party
Today has been insanely rough and let me preface this by saying that this week is the anniversary of when my stepdad, Greg, died 7 years ago. Each day of the week has a different memory and brings back different feelings and emotions. So with that said I woke up feeling really good and positive today, I didn't look at today as the tuesday that changed my life 7 years ago, I really didn't. I went to work with energy and ready to give today my all. And you know how when something goes bad and then maybe another thing doesn't go so well and everything just starts running together and it brings everything right back to the surface. That's how my day has been. I saw the orthodontist this morning and I was super excited to go, I love Dr. Hughes, he is one of my favorite people and always makes me feel good even with braces and a puffy face. But I gotta tell ya, it was not fun today. Since I started getting feeling back in my chin last Thursday I could feel quite a bit of what they were doing today - which was a lot. I got a new wire and went back to rubberbands instead of the wireties - which makes me feel less like a metal mouth since I don't have the extra hooks either. This probably doesn't make sense at all to anyone but me, so just bare with me. Anyway, when the wire was off I decided it would be a great time to flooss since I hadn't done so in 6 freakin weeks! However, it was excruciating to do so and I had to give up. Dr. Hughes came over and asked if I was ok, he actually thought I was going to pass out! Awesomeness. Anyway, I survived and went back to work and then had to go to the surgeon a few hours later. So off I go to the surgeon all excited because I get to chew starting tomorrow! WOO HOO. Not total freedom - very soft foods but still that's awesome! Last time I saw Dr. B I was able to open my mouth 24mm and this time he wanted me up to 31mm and I thought for sure I was there. Definitely not, made it to 25 and that was in near tears because of my right jaw joint. Dr. Buttram thought that was a little disappointing so he wanted to check how far I can move my lower jaw from side to side. And wouldn't you know it I can hardly move it either way - only 3mm - he said it should be between 8 and 10... So now I get to see a physical therapist twice a week for 9 weeks to work on my jaw movement. I've never had physical therapy before but I can imagine that it is not going to be a pleasant feeling. Now there are all these problems with my insurance covering it and it just hasn't been a good day. I also have to get some kind of special xray later this week too to see if there is anything worrisome going on... My teeth/jaw now hurt so much that I just want to curl up in a ball. I'm not looking for your pity either, just needed to get it out. But thanks for listening!
Tomorrow is going to be a better day and I've got some memories that I would like to share with you all about my stepdad, Greg. :)
Tomorrow is going to be a better day and I've got some memories that I would like to share with you all about my stepdad, Greg. :)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Thursday Thirteen
Happy New Year!! I cannot believe it's already January of 2009! Are you kidding me? I spent alot of time last night reminiscing on what 2008 brought us and wow was it a whirlwind year! We moved to Indy in January, I started a new job, two of my closest friends had babies, Marie got married, we moved to a new home in November... AND I got braces (AGAIN) and had my jaw broken - but really aside from that Kyle and I have been blessed with being healthy! We are looking forward to a lot of great things this year so I thought I'd dedicate my list to that!
13 Things I Look Forward to in 2009!!
1. Getting my braces OFF for good!!
2. Being able to chew food again (February!!)
3. Having a new President!!
4. Losing the final 40-50 lbs to get to my goal weight!
5. Kyle and I will have been married for 3 years in April!
6. Kyle and I will also both be turning 27 this year! Not that turning 27 is fabulous but it's another year of life so why not celebrate?!!!
7. As much as I hate admitting this because it means I'm old - my 5 year reunion at Hanover!
8. All of the laughter that our crazy dogs will bring us
9. The possibility that Kyle and I might MAYBE get to take our first vacation since we got married!
10. My mom is getting married!!
11. Getting to spend more time with friends and family
12. Several of my friends from Geneva Center will be getting married this year!
13. I know this is ridiculous but the new seasons of American Idol and The Biggest Loser
13 Things I Look Forward to in 2009!!
1. Getting my braces OFF for good!!
2. Being able to chew food again (February!!)
3. Having a new President!!
4. Losing the final 40-50 lbs to get to my goal weight!
5. Kyle and I will have been married for 3 years in April!
6. Kyle and I will also both be turning 27 this year! Not that turning 27 is fabulous but it's another year of life so why not celebrate?!!!
7. As much as I hate admitting this because it means I'm old - my 5 year reunion at Hanover!
8. All of the laughter that our crazy dogs will bring us
9. The possibility that Kyle and I might MAYBE get to take our first vacation since we got married!
10. My mom is getting married!!
11. Getting to spend more time with friends and family
12. Several of my friends from Geneva Center will be getting married this year!
13. I know this is ridiculous but the new seasons of American Idol and The Biggest Loser
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